Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Quick Tips for Healthy Relationships

  • You can wait, or you can create- focus on abundance not scarcity. Leaving things to fate leaves us with no sense of agency. Ordinary things done consistently create extraordinary results. We are what we repeatedly do. Confidence trumps compliance every time.

  • He wants the one who already knows she's good enough for him. Have certainty of your self worth. "I am a complete person without you, but I desire to have you be a part of my life because you are worthy of it."

  • A woman with integrity sticks to her principles and doesn't compromise. Never let bad behavior slide. Staying true to values that will establish trust are important. Someone with integrity won't put up with a guy who lacks it. It's not about you, and your power, it's about him and his insecurity. Be a strong character. Be fussy about who you share your time, spirit and energy with.

  • We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk.

  • Hope and fear can't occupy the same space at the same time. Invite one to stay.

  • How many traits that you are looking for, do you embody yourself?

  • Recognize when something isn't working for you and recognize what it is. Stop losing yourself in your relationship by giving things up that you love and like to spend more time on him. Be ready for when love finds you by loving yourself fully and unconditionally first.

  • Communicating as early as possible and allowing that safe space to tell each other how you feel and that you need to be open and honest with each other in the moment is crucial to your happiness.

  • Accept and allow for each others real feelings- regardless of whether they happen to please the other or not. Real and authentic honesty is the first step and only path to a real, secure and lasting relationship where both partners know their feelings are heard and respected.

  • Standing your ground is absolutely necessary for your sanity, dignity and relationship perspective. Don't let them play on emotions to get what they want. You are valuable, not desperate. If he disappears for days, wells and when he wants you BAM- you're there, that screams needy and desperate and are a direct way to relationship doom.

  • Make choices based on actions not a bunch of bullshit sweet talk. Don't be afraid to walk away. Bad behavior doesn't earn your attention-it earns consequences. Make him be accountable for his actions.

  • Don't let him push your buttons. Push his and throw him through a loop. It's okay to tell a man his behavior doesn't match up with what you want. Tell him he better have his act together or you're out.

  • People place higher value on something they have to work for. Men have to feel like you're choosy not needy. Say no, turn down mediocre offers. Accepting a situation that is anything other than what you want will make you unhappy.

  • When he stops making plans, texting, calling etc. Know that space to recover is healthy for men. What he's doing with his life and his purpose will impact the relationship. If he isn't clear on his purpose, he can become withdrawn, restless, irritated and unengaged. They'll shut the world out and become emotionally distant and withdrawn. Encourage him to take space and let him know you're here when he's ready.

  • You need someone who is truly committed to being with you on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level- not someone who is coerced, forced or convinced. A man needs to have his own reasons for committing.

  • Women create all these expectations about what the relationship is supposed to look like and when things fall short, she becomes disappointed and unfulfilled. Be clear at the beginning about what it is you are looking for to avoid unnecessary confusion and misunderstanding. Let go of the need to control what happens next and give him the chance to make plans with you or initiate affection.

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