Tuesday, January 27, 2015



This feels like a death.
I want to reach for my phone to call you, but something stops me and tells me you aren't there.
I know I miss you because I can feel your presence everywhere.
Life goes one, and I've tried to adjust accordingly.
It's only been a few weeks, but time feels like an asshole that taunts me.
Why is this so hard?
I thought I was following all the right steps on a predetermined path.
Is this a two way street?
I feel alone, wandering aimlessly.
I know what's real.
I know because it's clouding my judgement.
I can't seem to turn my mind off and the same film is on repeat.
This feels like a death.
You're so close, but so far away.
How long do I have to play with these memories?
This puzzle has gotten too intense.
I haven't found all the edges, but the big picture overwhelms me.
This chapter is over and the story goes on.
I'm having a hard time turning the page.
I like the story with you in it better.
It's a story I could read forever and still learn something new each time.
I miss you.
I know because I'm trying so hard not to.
Radio silence nags at my psyche.
Desperate to hear a tune, voice, commercial- anything.
But I can't find the right station.
Where's my bluetooth?
I'll play our song on repeat.
No use. The battery is dead.
So close, but so far away and it feels like death.
Was that last goodbye really forever?
Why is this so hard?
I want to pick up the phone and call you.
I want to send you every thought that summons you in my mind.
But ego is in the way.
Pride says let you go, I know it's better that way.
Then I remember….. attraction is emotional, not logical and I miss you.
This feels like death.

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